The Memory
by 4everandalwaysme
Summary: When Cammie runs away, is she the only one that got hurt? Songfic!


**This takes place right after "Only the Good Spy Young" when our beloved Cammie Morgan runs away. It's in Zach's POV.**

**Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns the Gallagher Girls. Mayday Parade owns the song.**

* * *

_She is everywhere I go_  
_Everyone I see_  
_Winter's gone and I still can't sleep_  
_Summer's on the way_  
_At least that's what they say_  
_But these clouds won't leave_

Everywhere I go, she's all that's on my mind. I can't think straight. I can barely make it through the day. Winter isn't here anymore. Nope. Over the Winter, when she was being followed by the Circle, and she didn't know much about them, she was probably safer. Now that she's gone, it's like she took all the life out of this place. Gallagher isn't the same. Everyone is stressing, and hardly anyone has smiled since that day. It's like a cloud is hanging over us.

_Walk away_  
_I'm barely breathing_  
_As I'm lying on the floor_  
_Take my heart_  
_As you're leaving_  
_I don't need it anymore_

She's gone. Cammie is really gone. She got up and she walked out of her school. Her home. Her safety. I can hardly breath because I'm too worried. She might as well have ripped my heart out right there and taken it with her. It's not like there's any use for it here.

_This is the memory_  
_This is the curse of having_  
_Too much time to think about it_  
_It's killing me_  
_This is the last time_  
_This is my forgiveness_  
_This is endless_

The memory of that day...It kills me. It kills me knowing that she's gone and it's all my fault. This stupid curse of a memory I have won't stop haunting me. It repeats the same thing over and over. 'It's all your fault.' She's been gone for months now, and we haven't been able to get her back. I deserved this, didn't I? I've hurt too many people in my lifetime and I'm only 17. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I can't even forgive _myself._ This stupid, endless summer...

_Now spring has brought the rain_  
_But I still see your face_  
_And I can not escape the past_  
_Creeping up inside_  
_Reminding me that I_  
_Can never bring you back_

Spring came and left. Then, summer. I still see your image every single day. No matter how much I want to forget the past, I can't. I'm a spy. Spies never forget. And that's why I remember that no matter how hard I try, I just can't bring you back home.

_This is the memory_  
_This is the curse of having_  
_Too much time to think about it_  
_It's killing me_  
_This is the last time_  
_This is my forgiveness_  
_This is endless_

_(This is endless)_  
_This is endless_  
_(This is endless)_

_Someone help me_  
_'Cause the memory_  
_Convinced itself to tear me apart_  
_And it's gonna succeed before long_

It really is my fault. That day, in the pigeons...I gave you the idea. You kept thinking about it, and eventually, you left. Only, you left without me. You left us all, and it kills all of us. None of these people forgive me. I don't deserve it. It tears me apart every single time I think of you. Of that day. Pretty soon, it might really kill me.

_This is the memory_  
_This is the curse of having_  
_Too much time to think about it_  
_It's killing me_  
_This is the last time_  
_This is my forgiveness_  
_This is endless_  
_(This is endless)_

_Someone help me_  
_'Cause the memory_  
_Convinced itself to tear me apart_  
_And it's gonna succeed before long_  
_(This is endless)_

_She is everywhere I go_  
_Everyone I see_  
_But these clouds won't leave_

Every single week I think of her. Every single day, I remind myself that it's all my fault. Every single minute, I have to go on in the safety of Gallagher, but she's out there, in the cold. Every single second passes, and in those seconds, I'm here. Missing her. Wanting her. Needing her. She's gone. And it's my fault. But I will get her back.

_"Zach, where did you go over the summer?"_

_"I went crazy."_

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this! I was just listening to the song, and the idea came to mind. Thanks for the support! Tell me how I did. You know you wanna review!**

_**Forever and Always,**_

_**Me**_


End file.
